03-09-18 Seg 3 Mens Room Goes for Gold

Friday, March 9th

Emails, Ted tries his luck against the FCC, plus Bad Jokes and the Shot of the Day!


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

This is dumb men's room. I'm listening to. Was thrilled. You want intentionally injure a four Florida nine at 990. Love. Say hello to Shane and part two welcome to the men's room. Low oh yeah. Oh. And so that won't stick in my head the most competitive in the first time that night. I'd only been a couple of blunt force knock outs and all my life and then I was responsible for this form either way we were not. We are doing all nighter you know Bernard early when he didn't you know do we had to have been on a bond newly married and a bunch of Coke can now from the sky. This you know ten you know like kids do. We're gonna you know where we're playing that you are seeing move. We get a little out of hand moved. We certainly your lap how it's hard to get personal ID came up against. Done the bar an island in the middle there. And I just kind of sidestep and I you know I kind of don't blunder but didn't get my hands clasped around in the right I I looked at. I like him although we have been here I give you Rhode bolt to the ground hard like him. The back of his head hit the child just. I'll hear packages likes him is well you know I mean what are you gonna do though we're up the as soon flags there. I hated it could've been a lot worse I mean they thought they had a slap them in the know dumped water or they are about ten seconds worried. Came here and I I am moving my depth ports only go on what we met ten. New Mexico USC gave him. Practice Blatter is praying about it how slow our man that got them there. I heard you know lower. Now that's crazy and I'd like people when you're in a party and you see drunk guys turned rough house on fire ready just stopped. Florida played don't have personal the video could hurt us double thing for you know how wouldn't have time. People try to juggle knives. But I very. Dart player we know why you're you're gonna stop when because configure office that's the only way you're gonna stop we all right drug guys start a thousand like. As you mammal when he and house but no won't Sharon mountain. And it did the car let's say from the video you know how this stuff and I don't care that your gonna break your buddies are or something and I honestly I care less. The problem is the party's gonna have to stop that right all out because someone's gonna until the hospital a few balls again to be there for three or four hours. I know did you unintentionally injure 844999. All does it mean if at a party some bad admin dude as the go late. Isn't wrong to just keep the particle like a bit on the level if you're taking them to the hospital loom like. I don't need to go and frankly I lose little glitch brought haven't really good talk. Are you thinking units like I think the level of and it's like when you see a really serious injury in sports. So whether someone just has a really brutal grotesque. Ankle breakers brain or need backwards so Monday it looks like that they might have broken their neck on the field in the takes awhile to get them up and out and all that stuff the only good thing about it is that for the rest of the diamonds like. I had that's the part of our sides. They continue to play the game with the durability of the Washington again and yeah hope you drop are going hey man who has book but. At some points. They go back to get even at the party Stubbs like ten or fifteen minutes let alone you wanted to make it very randomly mile. Is right though right because there's injuries happen and every football sure sure they'll break stuff just locate stuff and you've got to go to the next play. But then you look it the guy from the Steelers this year rights right easier right when it's that's future rightly be game continues there's a difference no ransom like the party. Yeah I've been paid to party some people. Marty I guess that's not exactly like I do my job. Do we got a huge part of Manhattan W can get paid for us right where your three dollars grew out who did you unintentionally injuring 8449990. I was picture of somebody really catching up beaten at a party. But I'm still really. Big Dig has still kept the lid. Hello Kevin welcome to the men's room. Oh wow all I. Do go my brother and I. Younger brother were like eight and and we've been watching that they're lucky deal there we were doing now cowboy who actually took the word equality and make how to rope. Each guy had who will I won a world. The other guy's ankle lets you connect it would do you like. Well the backyard looked older children and made object it is not really got to see it. Clearly go. What kind of pushing around a little bit you got like about it if you will between some. And all of a sudden I did I get the ball so then. And I just pull it up all the groping and an open it's become aren't used to the slow motion there you watch out and speak about. Lance back compared to smack your right. This whole business and in all of sudden it on greens are so I let nobody out. And they need people like. You know you've got I'd like what has happened in the me like I can't feel my lack of human body and all of the economics don't cry I don't know mom I don't want mom went up. Paralyzed no crime and exactly the term police don't cry. It did so what about a million dollar book opiate like they wouldn't want to feel like or implode in there and pulpit that were. Why he didn't call Ali didn't trouble. Plugged all the money wheelchair into the coffee we wanna be cowboy look like it anymore. And that's the moral of the story. As long as you look ma'am deaf. I remember in all things I don't remember this but recently analyzed or three years a cousin of mine is. Eight years younger the link but we can't catch up it doesn't sexes so we're drinking beer on front porch and the ring one summer. That he spent with my brother and I had to Barbara those five resorting to me again I'm like eight years older than us can think whatever but either way. I do not remember those he does he absolutely does so we're Carla talk about the summer is a great summer and that is like. You liberal John did you regret over what you talk about and to know got along really well it is like. We had a balcony at this house for a watch and we had a balcony and as he recalls historian and do not remember this. I picked them up and my goal was to drop a ball from the balcony but my brother was able to catch okay. So eat as he tells the story I'm like man I remember this at all and he's like I do man and he's like I was pleading with few. Not to do it is labor to brother of the genus and family and I don't say that facetiously. Was assuring me that NBA OK go to vote like a seven point drop. How could you possibly missed while you brought these together I said dropped on my brother miss so he's like man I'd you just drop me like some feet directly into the gravel pit. Behind your goddamn house and I'm like. Are you sure met is like yeah man if they do pick we are you drop me your brother mezzanine and stormed isn't remembering is now from Baghdad dissent. I guess my Brothers absolutely. Do not cry. Do not cry how do Barack do not write his one and type of parents met I have no recollection this but he. My cousin told an exceptionally detailed account of that moment on my. I believe you where I honestly don't remember about Beasley nor I remember us OK I get I'm sorry. I think he'd waited like thirty years to file here sorry sorry. Sorry and other technically is Barbara whose fault with the detention. And not a religious grounds with the detective. Hello bed and welcome to the men's room. Oh asked all garbage all. Okay. So my car and actually called and he's only fourteen so we couldn't tell us stories of released a good. So what now. So my son called him but he's only fourteen to tell a story can you still tell a story. We're cool with the unemployment yeah that was his goal that you know here is so periods are so large group a mother a lot of oh wow it. Harry I was doing good how are you good to care what happens. Yeah how when I was about our. There's actually lived in how some living in right now in my room. I was helping my dad strained the new room that leery not only. What you're pour your goal your dad display driver let's first of all you're not helping you reduce there I have a kid as a by air raid and I did it. Like my kid has helped lead paint stuff. I think help and is defined differently among children and adults when you're there in the room under your dad's re friendly. TI and I and so he says. You know yeah bohemian nail gun. And of course being store I'd kick out to get out and I have my finger on the trigger. And actually a pretty good life I shot them right right he. Is any doubt he he screamed and I freak out and that. Q wild around and pulled it out and my mom did stand as she reached out. I'd listen and I monetize them and if I'm not trying to sound harsh I'm sure your father is a great guy. You saw I needed. If you ask a four year old to grab a nail gun you should just how strong on the fact that you're about either you or that kids can have a mail right. How did you feel bad about it. Yeah yeah I'd cherished do you have do you laugh about it now. Yeah you showed it to thought it. And it's the ever let you have like a sip of beer what your mom's not around this I hear can drive that. I figured I while your dad's gonna take a mcdonalds now. And not everyone exactly enjoy the leaked them but if if if the fact that if you look man I've been rebuilt some stuff in the basement and one of the things I'm using is an album and have either of the kids in the wall it's powerful thing into dude record they've walked into the basement like I just stopped using it and you got to back away because I just. If they touch it I can come I don't like pan am from calories I don't know bat tries to my daughter to should do it on purpose like my son at least I know be an accident. But he is possibly about to do united even those industrials drink stay it was nice to have one that has the big long copper to probably pretty similar to the ones that you had when you got when he gets Richard back up what they're sort of Congo gone there. I mean up a little gun you have an emulator professional grade on the kind of cocoa cocoa content content content not just a click that might even be the brand name could talk to drop but it nailed gonna. Some. But it's so quiet diesel and air compression dances. It doesn't sound like it's lethal until you realize just put it would have a bit and they all sound like a diesel. Christ Manhattan so they are right away in the hospital I was shocked did you just use a nail gun it's a real Imelda my guess like an elder and when they take out staples from your head hits lately or death. And nothing more luck my of one of the known amazes me about the medical world especially when dentist you know there there's always new equipment. That doctors and then is used but when it comes time to just do the dirty work. It's like they could've found a Home Depot and about why do I gotta do taken out of my mouth. They don't quite owners players and sometimes they flyers to chisel and hammer to break it if it doesn't they've caught a lot of his old and racquet into pieces and then take the party and we've acquired former but it'll call that Nat so don't get called a distraction that Dennis says to the system like him evo. Whenever it is and I'm expecting to see some extravagantly thing you know like. I think that the I have water I don't know riddle called them about what I do what you're doing it and she hammered into my mouth away. That's Mamo. That's what did at that camera still pliers man bad jokes coming on Denver says the FCC and we get your emails on the way as well for the men's room and men's in my dot com that's all coming up next you're listening to the men's or radio network. Did you know you don't have gentleman's room. That day America on the bad jokes and the return of Ted vs the FCC first time for a few emails in the men's room mad men's or my doctor job. Our question who did you unintentionally injured guys I was digging a rugby ball the cleared out of the referee stepped right in front ME splattered his nose to his credit he finished the match. And one of our guys an army dock with combat experience fix him up at the drink up. I did feel bad until someone bumped into on an as beer mug hit him in the nose. Guys karma came calling when I was at my wife in Vegas in the bed after several Beers I was moving forward as she was moving backward. You know what I'm talking about you know bam back of her head right and in my nose blood everywhere sexy time is over. That from the dirty hooker. All what they want. A friend of a game my husband and I were walking up the stairs to my apartment I was behind him and I got this great idea. They grabbed his junk from in between his legs are barely grabbed them as I was trying to be gentle immediately he screamed out. Apparently I ruptured testicle with my finger. He was so swollen bruised it took weeks for under cover I've never felt so bad in my entire life I still feel bad to this day you all are awesome. Now from Lorie the ball buster. Alive. Unintentional story for a junior high school as it would to friends and a guy I had wanted to strangle since the fourth grade during lunch named Mike. This was pre Michelle Obama changing lunch foods to be healthy so I would always buy myself a cookie at lunch messed Java chip cookies I've ever had to this day by the way. One day at a lunch and definitely on my period not politics are like this but I am the most aggressive and territorial person on planet earth. When that's going on my car so I give myself a theme and bullet down the cookie Mike walks up and out instantly pest. And he starts messing remained and touching my cookie I'm really dumb to stop before he chooses to accuse me of having that. Time of the month while he was right about that but there's one thing that you should never say to a woman it's that she's on her period. Nationally until the bug off he threatens to break is and trying to break his arm on 55. Two weeks ago push up. This guys guard go into the military by the way he's six feet tall. He holds out his arm laughing and W I brag it. So I take his arm I put it behind my neck. Elbow into the back of the neck I use is armed with him around and from on the table behind it spilled a bunch of food gave in Milan for a few days any had a huge bruise of aside for awhile. I had no idea there I could do any thing and he was too embarrassed to tell school security about still cool thing I've ever done yes. Golfing one time another one off the tee hit on align right an the next fairway Astrid. Just before I drove this guy right in the stomach and he went down fast. I turn away trying not a nervous Ted laughs. He got up my friends say at third. Did that ball hits you he said you've got to be kidding me he looked at assured there's this huge well to red circle the size of the basketball. That from our buddy Bradley have any comments today. To sort out my computers frozen but one that is here says my wife accidentally injured me when I came up behind her with cold hands. And grabbed her boobs. Well she shot up suddenly bent forward and threw my back up for a few weeks Hulu. He told me into the boobs brother's couch is weird but cold hands on people and get my hands are always hold the red timer if you extreme out there for the men's road map men's or my doctor job. The summertime. Is still cold. Tonight my son's birthday he's a big to Lou is famous camera and give him a little kid based analyst blaze love the little guy that from the mobbed adding K Lee. It's guys today is my son Jordan's ninth birthday he's a good kid but he hasn't been turning in his homework and school. For his birthday gonna get some dirty Germans and telling him that he needs to do his homework thanks guys was new guys every day that from K love. And opponents who nasty division into a job and we teach the world because hypocrite I don't know who doesn't like cannot tell you it's always do homework. Was that the best thing. I am hitting. It's my children. The guys but I can't really imagine groundswell I damaged during eleven and we are on her way to the great wolf lodge about a big old. All right Jim against. Then from the navy dead and. I. Happy birthday Fernando in Sacramento premiere best friend John I'll get that dollar T as soon how about an original faced sandwich please sandwich guys today's Viagra okay at least 25 she's been dealing with the recent passing of her husband and I know she could use a little laughter. I want her favorite pastimes is getting drunk and talking in various accents so I'm sure that the birthday song along with the dirty Germans and Ozzie tenable bring Baghdad beautiful smile. That from Ricardo in Lynnwood. We come to ease your monthly above ten person group and you compare to do so much she was gone. Dad did if Melvin. They've been of those damn those lazy smile and again remember it. Palin decides you're always violent. Hey today but on this. CNN through the. Guys like Tony thinks birthday no I know loves me some doing this for myself can I get a big old bomb ripped love you guys that from Carlos in Tacoma. Only as always my son Daniel have a birthday turning 47 as mama I'm very proud of music executive director smokey point productions premium Taylor must growers and producers. It's about a little dirty German accidentally. Never played for you to school. Yeah Daniel and happy birthday paid. Most of those bright kids this is still the pain of months. Guys that can just and today's my wonderful husbands 27 birthday did you GeMS of turtles snakes thanks guys and rock god. Salt which is can you sing the birthday song along with a big old barn you inferred. Always also enjoys my wife the best of birds they see is 29 it would mean the world that she did get a symphony of turtles accent from big daddy red hooded. Oh yeah W there was mass deadly Baird and husband TJ happy 31 and losers of the show greatly appreciate the entertainment about an original faced sandwich in the Ted Smith saying I'm a philanthropist eating sushi in an ambulance thanks a lot guys and rock god map from imam fish sandwich. A month. I'm a philanthropist eating sushi in an ambulance. Always know when the baby Procter and 32 he has something special and a great nephew. I did the best club you can think we love the old man that from uncle Ben and aunt Dan no go look at it. Guys famous south and AM 37 how about an original faced sandwich and they suck it up cup gig pleased fish sandwich oh. Brother while just 38 trip how about dividends internal sex with a wedding if you can maybe address the beach thanks guys from dean. Love this. So did his motto is a horny forty to my brother from the same mother main pronounced main. And as a nasty Germans. Lovely callow that from judge and fans. And I would label the games and the most to take up to console the Wii play hide and go. I'm constantly. He had done something on that's moving and business. Jose says the fortieth birthday shout out for my baby daddy and partner in crime Oscar we have a fourteen month old daughter. Annie has stepped out to be great dancing did you give a big old bomb hit and an owl hitting the windows and Diaz for three years thanks for the laughs and operation of my name Carla. 341 last four years of an awesome how close I get a cup gay canned Vince Neil I just said that you're the best of baby ever that from Dave. Sure I guess send ash shot up. Birthday song for our friend Kelly stories baggage you love the dirty Germans any European as is too small thanks guys from David Roger and Roxanne. And up to a motel looking to fund the front impact business and he knew it was an apparent dissension. And it's also reminds me of the old days of the discover that someone. Yeah he wound to. I mean Dario. Yeah. Do I groups. Many flavors of the while it. The gum while the it's your birthday shot out of our home a crazy at Lansing correctional with 52 years this day notes and dirty German stock and amount prison please. Yeah all kinds of things we could talk about it for the diocese you know with the and I. So let's keep them honest Botswana and vying for those my favorite. Yeah I always struck the slow motion. I cut the rope officer. Well guys I know. Have you have you ended the day happy to have you return to behind me. I paid a dime you until you. But says it Digi Germans brought by men's. Are available through news and world fame on men's lives doesn't come another sign retailers. Know him shoreline flat. Earlier years they're guys that says that gentleman just curious of those a follow with a guy in England those holding his poop loved the show listen all the time. Got all the guys who work listening to give until that progress update on the guy I did get our body bacon for me a story and bows and you don't know this guy Lamar chambers does is named. He Helms who for 47 days because he had swallowed the drug evidence the cops are waiting for him to pass that he refused so as of yesterday. He hit Dave 47 here's the crazy thing about this entire story just you know as far as we know he still has not pooped. But he has been medically released to the hospital. Because of this for the worried about his health all right but keep in mind. They had among these drug possession charges. They have dropped those are he waited so long to prove they actually dropped charges just so you'd group that was his goal. They did it with another drug charge like suspected of furnishing drugs but possession of drugs has. Doing what we're calling for a yes. Our guys see up fire segment was hilarious best radio however I see that the show continued after the third segment of the podcasts I'm assuming that you guys didn't die. I can't stop laughing wish I could become the second half of the show instead I was napping. Of the guys had fun you guys are legends that from Parker yell out you were concerned if we baby passed away yesterday but unfortunately for you know we're alive we're still here. Old fellows based on the call from a lies you yesterday I was thinking that you guys could consider a 102 talent show for colors. That would be hilarious. And as far as the freedom murder injured probably be on a king's Hawaiian by on the nothing more American than a bun with added sugar PS miles let's go fishing net from time are. And while more. All the guys as far as what have been your downstairs about ten years ago I was living in Boston and old three family house with a bad electorate issues. Breakers would pop all the time of too many outs where news that kind of thing. This was the point in my life for I wanted to be ready for the ladies at any time and man skating was key. I could never seem to get a smooth enough shaved down there's so I found the best weather possible to read them of unwanted hair. And that would be Nair who now after years of perfecting the mayor method I have the entire process down like clockwork it was time to. To these seconds and the result was a pair of testicles the resembled a pair of Jumbo boiled peanuts. It's one night while I'm doing this if my remained Gerry decided to defrost some pork chops he bought from a guy selling meat out of the back of the truck and sued the ad the exact same time house merited use. Michael wash cloth to wipe the magic lotion from my plums. As soon as he would start in the microwave a breaker pop and all the lights went off. It was pitch black and I yelled Jerryd foot above the breaker is I can feel my marbles start to warm Mike a couple of hot stones. I began to sweat is chaired casually walked over to the bathroom door and calmly asked. What's going on their kid as the temperature in my day anglers was rapidly rising. The pain was now getting worse it was like someone gripping your shoulders after a bad summer and I begin to frantically try and wipe the lotion from my being back. Flailing at everywhere. At this point my snow globes were pure fire that felt like I could have Friday night got them Jerryd finally put the breaker and the lights finally went on as I jumped into an ice cold shower. As the water splashed upon my snapper slippers it sounded like a putting match out of a glass of water simply putting a match out as good as the walker it. My essentials course about glorious jumble boiled peanuts ended up looking more like old catcher's Mets are ten and oil for about a week if it. As that I had despray aloe on the daily and audit what you cowboy who just wrote across the country but boy they were smooth as these out now from sweeps. Get him back and the pets. That's good stuff how do you go back in time last time we played Denver is the FCC were good let's go back intact. You hear the tiger called mix they did here. Tigger wanted to know where is the best place to go to dig for gold may be digger Sid did Tigger the tiger. That the net net the nuggets. Are the brightest and bigger at the Niger river bridge on facts. Take that tiger called Mick the Tigger Tigger wanted to know where's the best place to go to dig for gold make the diggers said the Tigger the tiger. That the nuggets their biggest since our biggest of are bright as a bigger at the Niger River water. Tiger amid the bigger still wanted to know what's the best way to go to dig for gold makes the bigger city Tigger the tiger that the nuggets their biggest and brightest. At the Niger River due to an attacker got that the bigger. The entire one thing tiger wanted that Elizabeth was the go to dig for gold make the diggers say the Tigger the tiger that the nuggets their brightest the bigger than I do read. What did you ever do the FCC let's not again. Whose three. 120 back. Okay. Ford says this is the. Slew. Last night going over the incredible rhymes and and riddles for Denver's the FCC I'm brain dead be out your thoughts available locally were discovered early evening in full time bodies in distorted straight out of the my dad and you are exactly right racquet feel racket deal. But we came in only got a listeners submitted have vs the FCC so we're gonna go that one because listeners come first and this should come from the outcomes of the USS greatly. The hand the Akron all right. It's right there the United States navy and he says how religious put together this Ted vs the FCC after a few too many Beers and an incident with a riding lawnmower. And it goes something like. This. Troops Shia son loves to shoot the ship's soup. She hopes ships up since and since the shoe ships soup. Abracadabra. The way we knew Ted vs the FCC as gentry that one time through and then three times fast. Shoots that the word cubes yes all right. Shoots ship so up loves she knew ships soup she hopes ship. So sits and sits she hopes. Ship suit and a cadaver dog track shoots ship. People. So we're not close we went and visited. So far this ethnic back through the bad jokes count it out made par par at 999. All you can name a bad Joseph amends or amendments or my back down sit in Tucson Twitter. And men survived. As well we've got to have bad jokes on the way and we'll bring it does with the shots of the day all coming up next you are listening to amend your radio network yeah. I can't tell a good example or some bad jokes but to ensure the bad jokes last for generations to come this release first must bring you these. Rules this is the official men's room bad jokes rules the best joke isn't a bad. Necessarily how dirty joke for instance from I guy walked into a block. Who know how that one end and you know we all know about demand from Nantucket. Tunes on that joke is a bad. Necessarily an offensive one. I mean we all know that Jews don't Hollywood. And what's better than winning gold medal at the Special Olympics. Just keep these simple rules in mind before you go. Crazy. I've definitely drug charge to dig up the bad joke I says guy Watson who Barney sees two women sitting there any luck the terms of pale elected by ladies drink. She does. Columbus you're wasting your time sir we are let's. That is what what what is what is that I don't know what that is. She says so weak we have sex with women because bartender. Three Beers for us lesbians. What's the difference between broccoli and boulders what is the difference between broccoli and bloggers. And rescinded kindergarten he'd always broccoli. What do you get when you cross poison ivy was 84 leaf clover. Would you get even what do you get a rash of good luck. Why do natives not like smoke and why do natives not like snow because it's whites in other lay and it's. But what does the conga line at a retirement homes and ally what that depends. Are there are no jokes about Jim Jones why are there no jokes about gym Joseph all the punch lines are long. There's the pirates know what good the pirates play cards why couldn't the pirates play guard because they were standing on the deck. Why do you hold the door open for a clown why do you hold the door open for a club because it's just a nice gesture. And usually I go and I don't know I don't emitted during attack somebody else they're just deserts to be ready it's hot. Men's room knows just. And as good as usual way ahead today great guests can't seem to struggle to find out who were toasted. Yes indeed and today we toast Jonathan read Barack of Hartford Connecticut we actually talked about them a little bit yesterday I believe during the headlines segment but. I feel that his stupidity should be isolated. And celebrated its 25 girl guy he does fact Livan Horford Connecticut's. And he stalled car this past Wednesday why did he steal the car he stole the car because he needed to make his court date. Why was he going to court he was going to court for car theft charges clears your regretfully he stole car to get to court on time. The deal discard the charges I give mine he's totally different car last month and that's when he was charged with larceny. So we stalled car drove to court heard his charges. And then it went back outside and up in his new stolen car the cubs are waiting to arrest them because they ran all the plates and realize hey. That car stalled and no word on when a new court to face those charges but I would decide maybe to people are for should probably make sure what the cards but today. This small things so again. You want to courts. Because you stole car. Conventional car to go to court. Faced charges. Assuming car I don't know why it is that you're not immediately like thrown in jail or whatever the deal but it let him out and churn of its rearrested. First do we car because he drove a stolen car to score case facility car. This is not a bright man. Lisa and government yesterday and assistant today is consistent than an hour. Are you stupid that's all of this instantly stupid right but people that stay over there consistently stupid but at some point we don't just say hey man they're consistently get now. He's stupid. He's just do. Vote for those boos him during his moves because we think it's yummy to it's all over the tongue down the throat to party in our Tommy's. Down oh yeah good zone time. Kids like hello I'm not align right now a 44999. Hole we've got profile that's coming up in minutes. They should many games continues on the men's room radio network.